Given the past several deepsicks updates and subsequent discussions, the past several months of my real-life tuning in, fully intellectually engaged and emotionally invested ’cause I care so much and want so much positive things for the nation and world, I suppose a few words are in order.
Enough time has passed to suggest thought-out, something more coherent than rage and panic, more forward-thinking than the thick depression that descended November 2 and 3. But it hasn’t happened yet. I refuse to give my country—America the beautiful genius fuck-up—a eulogy, but the bright side won’t show itself and compromise has become another word for submission.
Election Day was fun, for all it was worth and it was worth a lot. Premature exit polls catapulting Kerry ahead had me beaming, before hating women and gays became the prime impetus to engage in political matters (instead of stuff like, ya know, health care, the economy, social security and the widening theaters of war [“theater” of war—how… entertaining])
That night my brother Sam took me to the Democrat brouhaha at the Hilton in downtown Minneapolis. I was skeptical—I definitely wanted to go but figured it, well, for important people. People not me. Sam convinced me otherwise. It was swank and freewheeling, crawling with starry-eyed folk, camera crews, kids with balloons, business suits, booze, hippies, students, grandmas, hip hop hope and punks with mohawks. I felt like a rockstar and roared with the rest when states turned blue on the gigantic projection screens, weaving through the throng of grins and prayers to see what I could see, and I saw expectation. Optimism. Community. Hope.
The best part?—being stopped every fifteen feet by people scrambling toward my brother and trapping him in massive embraces, remembrance and well-wishing. Having worked for Wellstone and a few progressive nonprofits, Sam has gotten around, knows and is known, and I don’t need people to squeeze the life from him to know he’s awesome, widely appreciated and wildly intelligent, respected and loved, but I never see him in this element. Curious how you can grow up with someone, live in the same city, interact at least a few times weekly yet know so little—find yourself surprised and agleam in another’s glow. (Aw, shucks—I love ya, Sam. 😀 )
As the night wore on, the euphoria waned. You know the rest.
As feared, my birthday on the third was awful. Last weekend cheered me up a bit, having gone to NoDak to visit family. Friday I saw Marilyn Manson, his first time in Fargo, in what amounted to a high school reunion for me—much fun was had seeing old comrades. My Minneapolis mates can be wacky, for sure, but tend toward understatement, at least subtlety—I forget how much fun it is (and how much good it does me) to be in the company of friends who routinely yell at strangers. I even saw Epich! (who enjoys modest fame in the depths of lasting still.) He is doing well. : )
From the concert I took with me broken ears, scores of bruises and Jenna from Omaha, who hitched a ride to the concert after her engine exploded outside of Fergus Falls. After a day of frantic calling, she decided to junk her vehicle and spent the remainder of the weekend immersed in my bizarre family life. Huzzah! Early Sunday morning I bid farewell at the Greyhound station and inherited until further notice the contents of her dead car. Now I have a down comforter, an atlas and swords.
Speaking of sharp stuff, for my birthday I got a nice kitchen knife—the knicest nife I’ve ever used. I feel like a professional, a real chef or killer—no longer must I saw my tomatoes or… er, nevermind.
The City of Saint Paul has a job opening for a zookeeper. I’m not qualified, but wouldn’t that be fun? Animals and science and kids and stuff?
For those who haven’t heard Fake‘s Erie Dam set, you should get it while it’s hot. And trust, this will never not be hot, but it might not be hosted for long. Get it! Now! Faster!
fake
November 13, 2004 at 10:39 pmyeah, the onliest thing i can think to do is go to the mall and buy some stuff. it would be fun.
wanna come?
nicolashka
November 14, 2004 at 4:14 amno! no buying! and certainly no malls!
having said my piece, I go downstairs, out the back door, and into the garden, to move some dirt around. and quite happily. put to work grandpa!
-me
megh
November 14, 2004 at 8:57 amare you in minneapolis, fake? ’cause if by mall you mean megha maul, i’d totally go.
if this is a more general “life sucks, let’s consume” remark, i withdraw my enthusiasm. 😐 yesterday i bought a ten dollar picture frame at target to hold a photo of armed PLO boys i tore out of the newspapers. they’re standing before a graffito’ed wall. really stunning arm curves and the hard lines of guns, they’re just soft and hard all over. TEN DOLLARS. WHY.
hallo nicholas! regale us if you would and can what the french think of americay’s four more years of the Thief.
fake
November 14, 2004 at 10:48 amyeah, i was just saying, you’re depressed, buy some stuff. put some stuff in where those bad feelings are. blabhblabhab. just fakin, don’t mine me.
i am going to come to the cities to locate the n-2b. when? someday. probably not anytime soon.
friend shannon took me to yoga yesterday morning. it was fun. i’m likely going to do it again.
fake
November 14, 2004 at 10:50 amhttp://fakeproject.com/for_shann…non/you_may.jpg
bruce nauman 1968
megh
November 14, 2004 at 11:59 amah. i knew you were fakin either way, but i did know you planned to be in the cities sometime soon, and didn’t want to miss the opportunity to bask in the shadow of your cyncism, especially at a mall (i was rankled you n andyf went to Ikea without me… rawr! i still haven’t been.)
i was rarin’ to take yoga at community ed this fall but never signed up for anything. i regret it. likely this spring, i will, especially with my growing interest in and exploration of eastern thought. and stuff.
nice pome.
fake
November 14, 2004 at 1:00 pmthe yoga thought killed me
“this stretch increases your virility!”
“this stretch connects you with your spirit and represents the infinite”
“blabhbhablhbalbhnewageycrapblabhablbah”
i had to turn off my brain to do the moves, because i wanted to laugh at the silliness of some of what was being said.
that being said… maybe that’s why it was good.
there was beautiful music, too… with a gorgeous lead vocal line. problem is, all the sudden in the middle of it the Slap-Bass had to come in (remember the interlude/intro music in Seinfeld? that’s Slap-Bass) fuck.
megh
November 14, 2004 at 2:14 pmsome people need very specific thought directives, is all. and it is ironic, because yes, you’re supposed to turn off your brain–not think about your virility, much less the things you can do with an increased virility.
i liked the Seinfeld slap bass, but while doing yoga with a gorgeous vocal line? sounds inappropriate.
Bree
November 17, 2004 at 6:47 pmBlah.
fake
November 17, 2004 at 7:48 pmBlah Blah
megh
November 17, 2004 at 9:52 pmblah de-bleh.
i just found out the interest on CDs is total shite, and so are rates for checking accounts at the Minneapolis McBanks. that’s disappointing.
megh
November 17, 2004 at 9:57 pmrelated note: anybody know much about online banking (as in, an online bank as an online entity, period)?
i’m trying to suck less financially, make smarter money decisions, and maybe even (gasp!) learn how to invest. i have mucho debt with my student loan, though. thoughts?
fake
November 18, 2004 at 7:55 pmi tried to tell you about this a long time ago. get that book i told you about, it explains this stuff pretty well.
“the wealthy barber”
megh
November 19, 2004 at 2:31 ami’m reading a book called “Get a Financial Life — Personal Finance in Your Twenties and Thirties.” and yes, fake, you were right. mutual funds is where it’s at. did you ever invest yourself?
fake
November 19, 2004 at 1:44 pmno- pending a meeting with a tax man, all financial matters are on hold here.
Nicolashka
November 20, 2004 at 6:47 amIncreases my virility?! Where do I sign up?!
hee, goofy yogablurbs. love it.
um, i have a mutual fund. it does things. like, you know, tricks n stuff. backflips. so I don’t have to. rejoice!
better than TCF savings account at any rate.
the Thief? in general, the french find the whole thing ‘epouvantable.’ = absolutely dreadful.
it’s a ‘well now we’re all really fucked’ kinda reaction, as well as an incredulous one, that such a thing should be possible. on the subject I’ve heard the exclamation ‘quelle horreur!’ more than once.
just yesterday, at a sandwich corner shop here in Marseille, I was informed that it’s generally understood that we Americans are actually okay with another four years (imagine!), not really too upset about it. so I do my duty and respond that it’s not quite so. but in the end I don’t know… do I represent a fair number or growing portion of a nation that is dissatisfied? is it mostly me and my friends that find the empire and its spread unacceptable?
I’d like to think there are more and more of us (whatever ‘us’ is), and I will, but I often find it difficult to describe to others how we americanos feel about it… I do what I can. I do find it helpful to share with my interlocutors the questions I ask myself, that we ask ourselves. I can confirm with them the lack of quality news, the truth to the isolation of our jolly old nationstate.
Elsa’s nearly finished her ‘manip’ here at the lab (proteins in worms or someshit), so we’re soon off.
glory to the rebellion! Ciao y’all.
Nicolashka
November 20, 2004 at 6:54 amp.s. Meg. ever listen to scissor sisters? go forth and enjoy.
Bree
November 21, 2004 at 2:23 amYou represent my “totally not ok with it” viewpoint! Oy!
megh, I am sending you a financial link.
megh
November 21, 2004 at 4:33 pmthanks for the insight, nic—and also for defending us progressives back home. i’m sure it’s not easy. i’ve wondered similar things as you—having been wrapped up in a forward-thinking university that encourages analysis and criticism and being around friends and neighbors (hooray prospect park!) who think and feel the same, i forget these other people󈠃% of the voting population—think very differently. hard to wrap my head around.
i have not listened to scissor sisters… i’ll see if i can find some.
thanks for the financial info, everyone (and bree, i particularly like the RPG vampire tangent in that link you sent… hilarious…). i do have mutual funds through my 401k, but i want something to grow money for right now, dammit (right now meaning next 5-15 years). thing is i have massive financial loan debts, and i wonder if i should concentrate on killing those before investing. i will keep researching.